I SWEAR I'VE TRIED.

Went to VI's carnival. Met lotsa people. Ahh and finally I got a chance to meet Aizuddin, Ezzat and Shun Ken. Took a picture with Aizuddin. I put it in to my purse. One and only picture of us. Walking and talking around the school is such a pain in the ass. Picang :S Im sorry, to be honest that's the errr boring carnival I've ever go. Thought of meeting Munira but then she left the school quite early, guess she's in the same situation with me which is boring.

After that, me and haryth went together to KLCC. I-FUCKIN-HATE-JAM ._. Ate at the foodcourt. Milano's always be my favorite. Dang! I didnt finish my super late lunch, just like usual. Met Syasya and Pele at there. I envy this couple. They look cute together :'} Frankly speaking, I dont think we can go through this relationship. Yes, I really mean it. Cause every time you're trying to be close with me, I still think about Mizan. FML. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me. I still, yes still think about him. That was my biggest mistake for the whole of my life knowing that he's better than you. Trully, Im sorry. Hmm. I can love you but I cant forget him. Everything I did with him is just hard to be erase from my mind.

WASNT THAT ARE MEANT TO BE?

Another COMFORTZONE I have xD I've been happy lately thinking about the good things to come and I believe it could be something good. Never expect life would be so boring after PLKN. LOL! Screw this daily routine and screw my sleep pattern too ._.

p/s: I'm lucky to have him, what else could I say right? I cant promise you anything but I hope we'll stay and survive everything together.

YOU DON'T KNOW, IT'S ACTUALLY BREAKING ME DOWN.

Assalamualaikum : )Now playing; Can't help falling in love by A-teens.

Is that typical if I ignore those things that messed up my brain? I know that I can't do anything without trying to solve it but it's just that I don't have the guts. Ya know these few weeks what happen to my family? My dad's company? You've no idea! I know one day I can help the company even it's hard like this. For now, I can help what I know only, just the basic things. Others, Kakak, Baba & Mama will handle. Now, I can see how hard they seeking money for us :') The company is not that stable like before anymore. At first, I didn't know about it but at last, yet I know that I was speechless and crying. I cry in silence, who else could help and should I tell? Does anyone bother? Hell, NO! I know right? As long I can still see people around me happy, I'll just pretend that the problem is over. O-V-E-R. But the reality is not. hmm. I've no idea how to roll the money for every tender the company take. It's not enough and not balanced. I know even I ignore it, it won't go away without solving the problems.

You can see that I still can laugh and smile but inside Allah know what I'm having right now. I don't feel like telling anyone about this. Seeing my family and friends happy just make me feel like the problems has gone, just for a while. I've no time for loves. What I know is, I'm so thankful for what I have. Family and friends are way just enough for now. No one are more special than them. Friends, I can feel that you guys think that I'm trying to stay away but on earth I just don't wanna tell about my problem. You can keep on your thoughts and complaining about me. Deep inside, I still love and I miss you people a lot ♥ Soon, when this problem settle I will be like before, keep in touch like we used do.

A hard year ever I'm having, I don't know till when I can stand but all I know is I'll make my family proud if that will make them happy. Friends? It's not like I don't need them, they are so so important too after my family. I just need to think what's best for me now. I really hope you guys understand my situation. Once I said that I love you, it will remains forever. Some people are just too lucky in their life, maybe I don't have the luck. Toodles!

Sincerely, Ain Nadzirah ♥

POEM; SOMETHING RATHER HARD TO INGNORE.

Always leave someone hurt or in pain,

The memory haunts me till the end,

I can never imagine and pretend,

Nothing can bring me back.

Every minute is a torture,

The day pass yet nothing is left,

Music won't drown out this pain,

Nothing is more pathetic than a crying please.

I never wanted things to end like this,

It’s true we don’t know what we’ve got until its gone,

I just wish you could understand that but you don't,

All I wonder now is why didnt you come to me and see the real deal?

I'm not gonna beg for your attention,

It is something rather hard to ignore,

It just make me feel even more worse,

But I'm done trying to make you understand.

Sincerely, Ain Nadzirah ♥

GIVING IT AWAY; SHAKING THINGS UP.

Now playing; Jar of Heart by Christina Perri -> Please Don't Go by Mike Posner.

Hello bloggy,

I didn't update my blog like I used to do like before since I'm working. Lot's of stuff need to be done and some of them I know I need strength to make it clear and perfect. Let's talk about my day job? Mhm I was woking at Putrajaya since end of February till now? Oh maybe I'm going to quit the job the next 2 weeks. Yes, before my result announced I need to quit the job. Big day for this year is on 23rd of March. To be honest, Im fucking scared and I did the tawakal cause I know I've done my best. Every prayer that I do, I always make doa and leave the rest to Allah. Only HE know what's the best for me. Time has running faster :') I love to play poker card and monoply in person with my family. Monopoly is a game of luck, people skills and need a strategy to win. No strategy will guarantee you a win; that’s one of the reasons Monopoly is so interesting.

Ahhh! Since Syurah and Fiffy working, our house state of quiet. If I'm working, I'll stay at Cheras not Uluyam. Mama, Baba, Ben and Myra will stay in ze house. There's no time to play and spend time together like before :/You know what? I seriously missed that moment. I have watched the match last night, Manchester United vs Liverpool on ESPN. Somehow, I feels like I'm wasting my time watching it. HAIHH. 1-3? Damn it! But naaah nvm, still remain top of the table :D Well done United, you've done a great job. I don't want to watch Liverpool to accept the Champion League throphy :/ You score in the way suits you best. Come on Manchester United!

Friends? I can't wait to meet you guys! I never imagine that I have lots of friends. C-O-U-N-T-L-E-S-S! I'm so thankful for that. They can also known as MY-COMFORT-ZONE. Okay, I got to go. The story should be end here. Have a great day people, Assalamualaikum. xx p/s; Happy Birthday Muhd Nor Alif, Nurin Nadiah, Hamieza Nizar & others baby March. Have a great one! :)

Sincerely, Ain Nadzirah ♥

I'VE FOUND A REASON FOR ME.

It's been ages I didn't update my blog. I was too busy working and doing some stuff. I've changed. I mean a lot based on what they told me. But I'm glad that I learned from my mistake. I changed to be a better person. Family always first and yet I still love my friends. Both meant a lot to me. If you guys read this, please understand my situation. Not all things I have to tell you guys, but yeah certain of them maybe I can share. Sorry if I did not contact you guys, you're still my bestfriends. Don't worry, I'll always loves my bestfriends. I just need to find a perfect time to meet up, trust me I miss you people a lot :')

Oh naaaaaaah! Alright, less than a month to my birthday. Seriously I'm fuckin excited and I can't stop counting to be eighteen. Yes yes, EIGHTEEN? :D Should I say that it is a big number for me? ;) I'm practically counting down to that day. HIHI. But I'll patiently waiting for it. Let's talk about last year presents? Purses, perfume, bear, handphone, handbag, chocolates, necklace, clothes, earing and novels. It was perfect and great present on my seventeen birthday that I received from my family and friends. And I really appreciate it. Thanks a lot, yes a lot! What's on my mind? Ahhhhhh. I want to save money to buy a watch form ESPRIT since I used the cheap one cause my RADO's watch ehemmmmm broken off (Y).

Too many things to tell here, I know my mom read this :P HAHA. Buy me, I really want it. I don't even want a purse since I have a new purse. New handbag and new watch is needed :) Got to go, I need to finish up reading the book for tomorrow. The real deals is going to be tomorrow, InsyaAllah this is the last one. Amin.

Sincerely, Ain Nadzirah ♥

KPJ AMPANG PUTERI MEDICAL CENTRE.

Hahahaha! It was me in the picture :D The day I was ran away briefly to Old Town White Coffee from Ampang Puteri Medical Centre. Okay, I was suffering for eyes infection almost a week in the hospital. So, thanks a lot to the nurses who had helped me a lot when I was warded there and thanks to Dr Rozita too. Okay, now let's talk about the bill. Okay the payment paid by Mama. It cost her almost 3K after discount I guess. Thanks Ma, thanks a lot. I really appreciate to have a mother like you. I love you to the fullest. Girlfriends and boyfriends thanks a lot for visiting and bring me foods and all. You're the best. Love you a lot. Xx

Sincerely, Ain Nadzirah ♥

THE BEGINNING IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST

HOMAIGAAAAAAH! My fault again. Hahaha. I try to remember who's birthday was today but then I can't recall so that I've been decided to activate again my Facebook since it looks like it's kinda important instead my friends asked me again and again to activate it. Naaah. It's Weng birthday which is Zarrin Azmi birthday. Woaaah. You're turning nineteen Weng. Hahaha. Have a great one. Sorry for the late wishing text, as you said I was late -.- Heh. But still I have my effort to text you and wish kan? :b

Around 430pm there's a dude tried to prank me through phone calls -.- HAHAHAHA. Guess it was Shahrul Nizam lah, who else. But he made my day. We laugh like hell. Seriously I miss you. Everyday he called me and ask wether I am in a good condition or what and when I tell him I'm not and I got sicked straight he laughed and then start to bahan me like usual he used to do with others. Naaaaaah! Rindu korang semua sangat sangat :')

EEEEEE. Hahaha. I activate again my twitter. The heck? :O Salahkan Munie & Yusri. Hahaha. But still I'm okay cause like Scalia think that someone disturbing my life from FB :) Naaah. That's life & I try to make it everything better everyday. Okaaay, random stuff. Bye!

WITHOUT FB, I'M STILL ALIVE.

THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE PAIN BEHIND EVERY IT'S OKAY :')

So, remember what you see and what you hear isn't always right. Here it goes, to AllanS thank you very much for calling me. I feel much better after all. Yes like what he said what goes around comes around and I do believe on it. AllanS and Lai is too kind and the only thing I feel so thankful to have a friend like them is they know how to comfort me when I'm down. Though Lai is in Sarawak but still he will call me every weeks and update what's happening there. We do share lots of thing, that's what friends for/ Helping and advising each other though we're far away. Okay, since Saturday I'm having eyes infection and allergy because of foods allergic and my due date lens (Y) I feel so down like a G1. I just got over fever now. Well, like usual the doctor think I was in form 2 or standard 6. HAHAHA. Okay that's funneyhh but jyeaaah I'm turning 18. Face the fact :b

My eyes getting worse right now and I'm having trouble keeping one open. When I close my eyelid it hurts. Shitsss! To be frank eye infection is not that hurt than heartache :/ I still keep on thinking about it. Okay this is weird but that is what I'm having right now. Guess what? Cik Som told me that I've to pay RM 40 for the computer test, err I mean for the second time I take the test even if I cancel the test which is on this Wednesday. What am I gonna tell Mama? The only way is I have to use my own money (Y) So, we need to keep this secret aite Blogspot? :)

As I can see just now, Mama makes every effort for me when I'm sick :') I'm so thankful to have a mother like you Ma :') The point you make just now is not only an extremely important but the way you show your love to your daughter. I'm so touched :( Mama, I love you and I'll do my best to make you proud of me.

TAGGED ; NUR HAYATIANIM

you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you.

At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Tagged means "I'm interested in knowing what are your 100 truths".

(To do this, copy and paste this note,
erase my answers and enter your own)

1. Real name : Ain Nadzirah Binti Abd Ghani.
2. Nickname(s) : Ain, Nad, Jiji & Adik.
3. Zodiac Sign : Aries.
4. Male or Female : Female.
5. Elementary School: Kindergarten.
6. High School : SMK Seri Bintang Selatan
7. College : Looking forward :)
8. Hair color : Blackky.
9. Tall or short : I'm short enough.
10. TV or XBOX : I'm not a guy to choose XBOX so I'm choosing TV.
11. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans.
12. Phone or Camera: Phone would be more important than camera's.
13. Health Freak : HAHAHA. I 'm having kinda lots of allergy,
14. Orange or Apple : Apple.
15. Do you have a crush on someone: Not even one.
16. Eat or Drink : I need both.
17. Piercings : Ears.
18. Pepsi or Coke : Diet coke & Vanilla coke.


HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane: Obviously -.-
20. Been in a relationship: Yes.
21. Been in a car accident: : Should ask my sister, Fiffy -.-
22. Been in prison: Hell, I'm kind enough.


FIRSTS?
23. First piercing: When I was six years old.
24. First best friend: Nur Nabila
25. First award: Can't remember.
26. First crush: HAHAHAHAHA. Now, he's in Singapore. Missing you, cousin.
27. First word: Ouchh!
28. First kiss : Woahh. My beloved mother :)


LAST?
29. Last person you talked to in person: Allan Malik. I owe you big time.
30. Last person you texted: Amiruddin -.-
31. Last person you watched a movie with: Beloved siblings.
32. Last food you ate : J.Co
33. Last movie you watched : The tourist.
34. Last song you listened to: Pray? Euuu. Bieber's sucks.
35. Last thing you bought: Medicine.
36. Last person you hugged: Munirah Sobri & Nurin Nadiah <3

FAVORITES?
37. Food: Only steak, pretty please? :D
38. Drink: Any shake would be nice.
39. Skirts or dress : Both.
40. Flower: Rosses.
41. Animal: Sugar glider & rabbits.
42. Colours: Turqoise.
43. Movies: Anything.
44. Subjects: History baybayhhhh!


HAVE YOU EVER:
(Put an X in the brackets if yes )
45. [ x ] fell in love with someone
46. [ ] celebrated Halloween
47. [ x ] had your heart broken.
48. [ x ] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.
49. [ x ] had someone question my sexual orientation.
50. [ x ] copy friends' answers in exam.
51. [ ] got pregnant.
52. [ ] had an abortion.
53. [ x ] did something I regret.
54. [ x ] broke a promise.
55. [ x ] hide a secret.
56. [ x ] pretended to be happy.
57. [ x ] met someone who changed your life.
58. [ ] pretended to be sick
59. [ x ] left the country.
60. [ x ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it. (not in a wrong way.)
61. [ x ] cried over the silliest thing.
62. [ ] ran a mile.
63. [ x ] went to the beach with your best friend.
64. [ ] kick someone's leg
65. [ x] hated someone.
66. [ ] stayed single for 2 years *on the way*


RIGHT NOW
67. Eating: Sticky. Shit dah nak habis :/
68. Drinking: Milo ice
69. Listening: Bruno Mars.
70. Sitting/Laying: Sitting
71. Plans for today: Stay at home and resting.
72. Waiting: To take my next computer test :/


YOUR FUTURE PARTNER:
73. Want kids?: Yes, fo' sho
74. Want to get married?: InsyaAllah one day, S-E-A-R-C-H-I-N-G :D
75. Career: Physiotherapist/ Engineer/ Architect.
76. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
77. Shorter or Taller: Obviously taller than me. HAHA
78. Romantic or Spontaneous : I'll choose both.
79. Cook for wife / husband: We will have our own maid. HAHA. This one for sure I'll cook for him atleast once a week.
80. House: Condominium and bungalow.
81. In relationship with: A gentleMAN.
82. Looks or personality: His personality are way more important than looks.


HAVE YOU EVER:
83. Lost glasses/contacts: Over than 5 times. HIHI
84. Stay up for 24 hours: Yes. Lifeless darling.
85. Watching cartoon: When I was with Myra and Ben -.- Haihhh
86. Killed somebody: Would love to try. HEE
87. Broken someone's heart: Just remember that I'm not for you, Find someone else better than me. Sorry for that. There's always somebody that loves youout there.
88. Been in love: Woot woot. This one obviously yes. I bet everyone has been in love. But some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together.
89. Cried when someone died: Oh yes.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself: Yes and this is so yes :D
91. Miracles: Depends.
92. Love at first sight: HAHAHA. Come on Ali. We meet every year kan cousin? :)
93. Heaven: Yes.
94. Santa Claus: HAHAHAHA. Only when it comes to Christmas Day :b
95. First date : There's always next date with the right ones.
96. Kiss on the first date: Wuishhhh. No baby no.


TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now: For this one I've to think over than thousand times.
98. Do you know who your real friends are: Johan Arif, Alia Natashah & Nawwar Hazman.
99. Do you believe in ALLAH: Yes. He's the only reason why I can stay till now.
100. Post as 100 truths? : Family always comes first while bestfriends still can consider as a part of it.

p/s ; Okayy Anim, done -.-

Bruno Mars ft Natasha Bedingfield - Again (with lyrics and download link!)

Here, listen up! Just feel for a minute what I felt for today.

LIFELESS VS FEELINGLESS.

FACEBOOK, TUMBLR & BLOG; I JUST FED UP WITH ALL THIS. I'M SO LIFELESS INSTEAD OF FELINGLESS.

http://lemoney92.blogspot.com/2010/01/ns-survival-guide.html.

Ouchh! To be frank, I started being nervous and scared since I read the survival guide. So, anyone wanna try to make me feel better, I mean feeling nothing for NS please? :/ Sighss! So jyeaah! I'll just keep on pretending that I'm not selected for NS.

So let's talk about life? Err wait before we talk about it, I just wanna wish Happy Birthday Mama. I wish you all the best, a long life full of happiness. You're the best mom in the world. I am so blessed to have wonderful, supportive, caring and affectionate mother like you. Your sacrifices make you a special mother. I won't forget the concern and fear you felt about me, I will not forget that ever. I love you to the fullest Ma ♥

Okay life? What is life? My life is so boring. Almost everyday, I'm so out of idea what to do. Doing the same thing everyday, the same daily routine makes me feel boring. Life is boring. Please give me any idea what to do? :( Alright, I'm so sleepy. This Saturday I'm gonna having a test which is Computer test and I'm hoping that I can pass the test. Amin :)

2011; LET'S TALK THINGS OUT.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 1.1.11,

HAVE A GREAT LIFE HUMAN!

People, I wanna be frank here. My previous post is not related to any of my schoolmates. Stop blaming me and it's not YOU. Please and Thank you.

WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL

Wow! Hello December :D Currently listening to One In A Million by Ne-Yo. Well dude, I just love your dance. It was superbly coolio :) 4 more days to go and hey SPM, I'm not gonna see you after this. I'm leaving. F-R-E-E-D-O-M! Alright lets make this clear, after this I'll no longer in SBS. I'll not gonna wearing school uniforms, ribbons & etc. Good bye prefects, after this you don't have to asked me to button up, buy ribbons & hair clip & wears name tag. But heyy! To be frank I'll be missing those moments. Every moments last forever :')

DEAR SCHOOLMATES
After this we live far apart and maybe after this we have never meet but we can talked through phone yet chatted on the net. Mhm. I'm trying to show the way what I feel, yet the words cant describe :/ This love is so real. I mean our FRIENDSHIP. Promise is ain't enough for us to stay what we just have to do is holding each other though we're in up and down. To me high school is like a drama. I made a lot of friends and have a lot of memories :')

THE HEART THAT TRULY LOVES NEVER FORGETS.

I MISSED ALL THISSSSSSSSSSSSS :(

5 K's, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! xx

I LET MYSELF KNOCKIN' KNOCKIN'

It's so OUHCHHHHH when you know someone that is not closed to you knew everything's had happened lately into your life isn't? Well girl, keep on talking, keep on making stories. Everyone knows that you're an attention seeker :')

SPM- CANDIDATES : HELLO!

Deary,

My fault is being human are everywhere. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to but heyy people do mistakes right? Sorry again if I did that. Btw, luck is yours and wishes are mine, Let's your future always shine. Best of luck for SPM candid! Love you people. Xx

AT LAST, DAMNNNNNN

At last today I feel like freedom :) Bye bye TRIALS and Hello real SPM! I might not coming to school everyday from now on, oh yes I've decided that I want to do revision and study at Library KL with my friends. Frankly speaking, I've to do like this because I know at school I won't study if I meet them -.- I only have less than 40 days to go to SPM. Mama, you don't have to worry, I'm gonna start focusing on my SPM. I'll do my best for you. I'm aiming high this year :/ Guess there is still much to be done. I should sacrificing my time for more important things.

TIRED-FRUSTRATED-STRESSED-BORED.

Screw it! But on the bright side, my days are often filled with joy and happiness :) Thanks to my family and friends. You guys are awesome! I don't need others if I have you all. If a problem re-appears in my mind, I'll let it go and then stop thinking about it. And the best way to stop thinking about something is thinking about something else. So, I've to think about something good things in my life and trust in Allah for all things happen :)

TEN TEN TEN - BEN 10 :D

Heyy World :D I'm happy when I know that AIZUDDIN is now with Likha while EZZAT is starting to flirt Farah :) They are happy and I can see that (Y) Btw, Happy TEN-TEN-TEN People. Have a great day! *CLICK THEIR NAME SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THEIR FB :P

I've tried to get rid out of this feeling but I can't? Yes, that is my weakness. I do regret for it. HA-HA. 44 day's left to SPM. I'm still like this 0.o I'm having trials right now, to be frank that I'm not focus on it. HIHAHU.

Life is so boring right? There's no second chance words in my life. I've learned a lot from my experience. I should off and study for my paper Perdagangan tomorrow. Maroon 5 has just made my day by listening to his song which is She Will Be Loved. BYE-BOI :)

p/s : Forever is not exist. It's only as a word to those looking for hope. It's a fact! Toodles.

BRING IT ON.

LOVE IS FRAGILE, THANK YOU THE LAST SONG :D

THAT'S SO FUCKED UP.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? -

PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE AND LISTEN UP.

Currently listening to Airplanes (Y) Thank you very much. Past is past Ain, Don't do the same mistake that you've done like before. I'm strong enough to face reality. I can go through all this alone. I can still stand alone without you. Yeah! I know :O Before this you can stuck on my mind, I mean ALWAYS? Damn! Not after this. I'm happy with what I have right now. You dont have to ruin my life for the second time please? I've to be frank that I miss you. I should stop it right but it's still okay if I missed you as a friend right Monkey? OBVIOUSLY! SPM-SPM-SPM. Haihhhhhhh.

For starters, It's just slimmy. Have you heard the expression "Life and let live"? It applies here. You're just another part of my past. You're my good time and you're just my past time. I wish I didn't think about you as often as I do. Because now you're just my past. And yet you still feel like my other half. When I think about that, It H-U-R-T-S! You don't have it all anymore. But you do have a small piece and I guess I just wish I was okayy with that. But after all, I'm not. I'm not okay with that and I don't think I ever will be.

It's really weird when you bring back memories -.-" So, I avoid this as much as possible. Although the memories meant a lot in the past, it hurts me inside. Maybe that's because we aren't anything to each other anymore. Guess I was weak. Couldn't hide it anymore. Time goes by slowly, I shouldn't be holding on.